12 month video

Update

Today I am currently 21 months post op. Come this May, I will be 2 years post op.

My weight management has been great. I feel as if I am in a cycle now where I will gain a few pounds, then lose it. I always end up in the 168-171 range. There have been days where I weigh in at 175, but there have also been times where I weighed in at 166. Depending on the day and exercise routine determines my weight. I can say that so far, so good on the weight maintenance.

I was asked the following question the other day:
"What happens if you become 400 pounds again?"

First I have to say that that is my biggest fear. I sometimes have dreams that I am back to being 400 pounds trying to put on a pair of jeans, etc...
Being 400 pounds again isn't an option. I would have to be in a really bad place in my life if I ever get back to there. I will do everything in my power to make sure that I maintain the current weight.

Before I had this surgery, I used to take things so personally. I was always living on edge, afraid of the worst. I always looked at things with Doom and Gloom. I cared so much what people thought of me, being self-conscience. Certain things that would happen causing me to get all bent out of shape. Now that I am almost 2 years post op, I have built the confidence needed to deal with stressful situations properly. I look at things rationally and realize that I can't control everything. People opinions don't bother me anymore. I have come to the conclusion that if people don't like the way I look and judge me solely on my appearance then it is their loss. Not mine. I am not on edge about anything anymore, I don't fear the worst. Moments still arise where I think there are things I will never get through, but that quickly is washed away after I completely think it out.

Food is everywhere. I remember when I lived to eat. I remember looking forward to just eating. I would sit at work, school, etc. waiting so I could get home to eat. It is hard to explain but food was my best friend. Deep down inside I knew that it wasn't healthy. I didn't care because it was a satisfaction that I was all too familiar with. If I were to do that today, I would make myself sick. I get filled up so fast. Granted I can eat more than right after surgery, but I know almost instantly when I have taken one bite too many. I hate that uncomfortable feeling. I still look forward to eating but now it is a much more enjoyable experience knowing that I will be comfortable after I am done eating.

I am starting to get hiccups again. For the longest time I never got hiccups after surgery. The hiccups I get now don't last very long and are easy to get rid of but after the 5th hiccup in a row, my stomach starts to hurt. Also, indigestion; for the longest time after surgery I never got indigestion, now once in a while I get it. After I take a chewable Prevacid, it disappears.

It is currently winter, temps have been really cold. I have been wearing layers of clothing. I get really cold, really fast. When I was heavy, i would have to open up windows in the dead of winter just to cool down. Now I am turning my heat up, sleeping under multiple blankets, wearing sweatshirts on top of winter jackets.

I am still working on the YouTube video, slideshow of sorts. I am trying to pick out the perfect song to capture the importance of this weight loss. Needless to say I haven't found the perfect song yet. I also have testimonials from fellow friends and family on my weight loss journey. I will be posting those soon.